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22-May-2020 08:40

you best friend forever because you the two of you decided to give a relationship a try. It's definitely not a loss many people would want to risk experiencing, because it's double the pain."If you date your best friend, you’ve crossed a line and if things don’t work out, you’ll never get your friend back," Masini says. If you’re not a risk taker, this is one you should avoid."While in the moment you might be able to convince yourselves that you're making the right decision and it's going to work out, it's important to weigh the pros and cons, and weigh them realistically.It's far easier to spot red flags early on in a relationship with someone who isn't your best friend.With our best friends, we tend to make allowances for them and let them get away with things that, no way in hell, we'd let others get away with when it comes to dating us."In other words, because someone is your best friend, you don’t filter them the way you’d filter a new first date."While you might be able to dismiss this by telling yourself that you know everything you need to know about your best friend now partner, there's a distinction that needs to be made: being just friends and dating someone reveals different sides of people. This is a tough premise on which to build a romance."I mean, does anyone want to start a relationship already knowing everything there is to know about their partner?You may know your best friend like the back of your hand, but you don't know what it's like to date your best friend."When you don’t know someone very well, and you start dating, you’re usually more careful and you don’t let things slide the way you do when your best friend is now your date," Masini says. Wouldn't a little mystery do a new relationship good?You're basically putting all your bets on the table when you date your best friend and when you do that, it's hard to walk away with everything you started out with when you walked into the room in the first place; it's one hell of a gamble.

Basically, you think you're getting the real deal, but you just might be getting what your best friend wants you to see in the moment.Like that isn't a disaster waiting to happen or anything.But, in addition to knowing that we've created one hell of a mess, I also know that our compatibility as partners versus our compatibility as friends are in completely different stratospheres."It’s not until you’re deep into the relationship you realize that you let someone in who doesn’t share your values as a partner."When I first started sleeping with my best friend, before we "officially" started dating, my therapist would tell me over and over again that you're not supposed to know what your best friend looks like or sounds like when they orgasm. Also, the flip side of that is that you may not want the person you're dating to know the details your best friend knows."Your best friend knows too much," says Masini. Granted, you'll get to see another side of your best friend, like how they are as a partner, but there's still so much that's already been discovered and it's that fact that's worth considering.

"Typically, a partner learns these secrets in a different way," Masini says, "not as a confidante, but as someone new in your life with whom you’re sharing to create intimacy."I'm currently in a non-relationship with a friend, who's technically a friend with benefits with whom I've fallen in love.It's because of this that dating your best friend is such a risk.



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