Dating too much too fast
They become very concerned if the other person doesn't call them quickly or doesn't want to see them with increasing frequency," says Jo Ann White, a relationship expert and psychology instructor at Temple University in Philadelphia. Many times, she says, one partner simply doesn't want to move that fast.So, tossing away someone simply because they want to take it slow could turn out to be a big mistake. Sadock, MD, notes that getting swept up in romantic desire is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as long as we don't subject our partner to our fantasies too soon.But this, say experts, is a false expectation that frequently drives many a couple apart."Some people, particularly those who rush into marriage, have this idea that they are going to be madly in love with their partner 24/7. Research shows that at least part of that initial "WOW" feeling we get with our partners may have more to do with fluctuations in brain chemistry than flutters of the heart.There is perhaps nothing quite as exhilarating as the heady feeling of falling deeply, madly, passionately in love.
Both partners should give more of themselves and expect more in return.How do you know when to hold on and when to let go?Experts say it all boils down to just a few old fashioned bylaws of romance: seem a bit conventional, experts say one of the best ways to win at love is to hold off physical intimacy until you really get to know someone."Sex changes everything," says relationship coach and matchmaker Melissa Darnay.
"I always tell my female clients not to have sex until he says 'I love you' -- because if you become intimate too soon you'll be thinking 'Oh, now we're a couple,' while he's thinking 'Oh boy that was sure fun,'" says Darnay, author of the book .
Regardless of how you define it, experts say once we do experience the "high" it becomes etched in our brain.